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Which brings me to American girlfriend number five, who was paralyzed by her hoards of self-help books.
Over-analyzing American family dynamics is still something that remains a bit of a mystery to me.
On my first date with girlfriend number six, we went dancing before playing bocce in Brooklyn.
It was a night full of spontaneity, which American girls—naturally outgoing and vivacious—have perfected.
Still, when I met my first girlfriend in 2007, a ballerina who had recently moved from San Francisco, I was immediately taken aback by an overarching obsession with status and money.
She had a vision of the man she was going to marry: tall, dark, handsome, and a millionaire.
But surely not all American girls thought British men had an endless supply of money?
British girls, meanwhile, do not spend the same amount of money on themselves as American girls, nor do they expect you to spend a lot on them.
In Britain, we are self-deprecating to the point where we convince ourselves that we're utterly useless in life.
Since then, I've spent six years dating American women in the search for "the one".
They have come from all different backgrounds, worked in vastly different careers, lived in both New York and Los Angeles; and if there's one thing I can tell you, it's that the stereotype of British girls being more well-mannered is actually false.